Thursday, February 27, 2003
Dilemma...dilemma....

Do I jog tonight and just forego the Diagnostic Run tomorrow?

Or do I skip jogging tonight, attend the Diagnostic Run tomorrow and then just change outfits at Jollibee before heading off to the christening of my newest godson, Gil? Can I pull that off without dozing, becoming too sweaty, smelling, etc? But how would I make myself look fresh after exhausting myself?

And can I trek the whole night later without seriously being tired or injuring my legs?

But we're supposed to have a pre-climb meeting tomorrow too. But again, won't I be too tired if I do all that? And would I be more prepared to run tom if I jog tonight? Or would that be asking too much from myself?

by ~me~ at 9:03 PM ©

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Tuesday, February 25, 2003
We're having trouble organizing and finalizing the details of the climb for this coming Saturday... and I so want it to push thru. I'm bad, I want it because I need the practice and exercise. Sigh....

by ~me~ at 12:15 AM ©

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Sunday, February 23, 2003
Forgot to say that Niña kept playing with Jojo's hard, shiny balls while we were at his place. I think I need to play with balls like that, too. I need to make my hands more flexible.

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Got sick. Remembered that dang Power-Up shelves where we placed our bags was covered in dust and that i'd been sneezing all the time I was there.

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We didn't have a pre-climb so I still don't know what else to bring aside from necessities (read: water and trail food). Dang!

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Dennis and friend will still be coming with me and they're ok with night trekking.
by ~me~ at 4:16 PM ©

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Saturday, February 22, 2003
UP CAMPUS AND TANDANG SORA POWER-UP CONQUERED

It’s what, 10:20 AM of Sunday. Just got back home from the orienteering we had at UP Campus yesterday. Lolz.

Loved my team this time. And we got second place in the race to answer all the questions demanded of us. Was revisited with my frustration to have studied at UP, and also got a blister on my right foot (I’ve learned my lesson, I’d always define COMFORTABLE now as jogging pants and running shoes), but other than those stuff, the orienteering was fun. Got to bond more with my fellow trainees.

Also found out that am a responsible belayer. Was overwhelmed by the wall climbing though. Granted, I WAS able to scale the two easy walls but still, it really tasked my upper body and now my right wrist is complaining intensely. But I have got to really practice.

And I have got to improve on my jogging. I’m giving my blister until tomorrow to heal enough so I can wear my shoes without getting really hurt to run/jog.

For the fun part: THE SOCIALS

I really believed I wouldn’t be able to dance. So I started suggesting we just hang out somewhere and bond. Turned out, we went to Padi’s at Philcoa. We were there before 7 and left at 11. And we also immediately started dancing. Niña and I just cannot be together without causing a riot. It was fun shocking everyone, esply Ohmer and Drin. was shocked myself with how dance-deprived Butch was, as in he was the most promiscuous one there. Then again, Em had to leave early with his gf to go to Baguio.

After that, those of us living in Manila and those going home to Batangas decided that the night is still young, and so were we. Jojo offered his home and we ended up bingeing on Sprite and footlongs. Around one, we decided that it’d be a long way back to where PUVs like taxis will be available and so we slept over at Jojo’s too. That was around 1:00 AM. We woke up at 5:30, was blessed with Milo and bread/cheese by Jojo’s mom (I really appreciated their generosity to us) and we stayed to watch some cable before leaving Jojo in peace. We then headed for Ma Mon Luk (bad me, I suggested the place and it was still closed) but ended up at Chowking’s (yes, again!).

And now, I’m home, freshly bathed and waiting for sleep to come and for exhaustion to really kick in. And while blogging this, Lea, Ohmer, Anche and Marie are all at Robinson’s Place to watch a movie.

by ~me~ at 6:35 PM ©

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Thursday, February 20, 2003
As I jog around the board walk in Luneta, or as I brisk walk since I don't really jog very well yet, I sometimes get distracted by the 1) sunset, 2) the people who are romancing each other or hanging out there, 3) the other exercisers and 4) my own thoughts.

Sometimes, old conversations would come to mind. And o\in the midst of huffing and puffing, i'd find myself holding eloquent conversations with myself. Ahhhh, talk about blog-worthy thoughts.

Sometimes, i'd find myself wondering what it'd be like to fall in love with someONE... again, or finally have my baby, or whether i'd really get to become a housewife, or i'd ever train to climb Halcon....

Sometimes, I find myself desperate to already be the person I want to be... or congratulating myself for the person that I am becoming...

Oh and yeah, I sometimes wish that i'd finally gather up the money and get my own digicam.... dang Aids is getting me real envious.

by ~me~ at 5:08 PM ©

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Tuesday, February 18, 2003
JOGGING shouldn't be this hard.....
by ~me~ at 7:00 PM ©

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Wednesday, February 12, 2003
bliss
n.
Extreme happiness; ecstasy.
The ecstasy of salvation; spiritual joy

Why do I wake up earlier than usual to exercise? Why have I splurged thousands of money in sporty wear and expensive gear? Why have I sacrificed weekends of just sleeping in my warm, soft bed to trudge along mountain trails under the heat of the sun and vulnerable to the other elements? Why do I allow myself to get weary over a heavy load stamped on my back for the greater period of the day? Why do I invest a lot of time and effort to self-exhaustion, one way or another?

I just tell myself, it’s following my bliss. My happiness. My passion. And though I have only just begun, and a lot of things are yet to be learned, a lot of skills to be acquired, my heart has yet to change its mind.

Quarter-life crisis comes to mind. And yet, if I hadn’t felt restless and incomplete some months ago, I wouldn’t be as happy now. Sure, I get tired. I get worn out. Moments of self-doubt and recrimination also beset me. But I decided to do this with eyes open to the dangers and sacrifices this hobby would entail. And I have not been disillusioned yet. Instead, I have met friends, mentors and more of myself.

Truly, the sun does shine brighter when you are working for a goal. A sunset is really more beautiful viewed from a mountain top. The sounds of the forest friendlier and sweeter to the ears. The smell of sea and mountain breeze more stirring. Pictures taken along a trek more poignant. And the laughter exchanged more ringing.

Follow your bliss. I do not really have a tangible, logical reason why I’m doing what I’m doing. But happiness lies here. Friends, good times, learning moments… still await me.


by ~me~ at 10:42 PM ©

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Sunday, February 09, 2003
Uhm, noticed it after my Pico climb. I'd have those falling dreams just when i'm on the verge of deep sleep. And so i'd wake up irritated with my heart pumping like crazy. Had that for 3 days, I think.

Then, on the bus ride home yesterday, I woke up twice having the same jerky dream and disorientation. And I had another one before I slept last night. And I sure had a restless sleep, waking up every 30 minutes or so, which is why I skipped work (i did not get any rest at all).

I interpret this as my unconscious mind's way of coping with mountaineering. Then again, it bugs me since i've never been really scared of heights or woozy when up anywhere high.

And I hate falling dreams cause it gives me the feeling of nervousness, anxiety and impending doom.

Hmmpf....

by ~me~ at 8:41 PM ©

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BACK FROM THE MOUNTAINS
DAGULDUL CONQUERED

Highlights of the Climb were

~ The beach was indeed awesome. All blue and clear waters with the almost-white sand and lack of as many patrons compared to other beaches like say, Boracay. Frolicked in it as a reward after the climb, with mostly boys. Glad they didn't drown me or anything.

~ Although Daguldul was like this small intestine wrapped around a mountain, I found it a blessing that when we were climbing, it was consistenly ascending, and that when we were going down, everything is ascending. So, I was able to keep the little momentum that I got.

~ The newly bought shoes were perfect. It's grip was fine, and I only stumbled 4 times going up, and slipped once. (just don't ask about how many times I slipped and tripped and landed on my butt when going down...)

~ For the first time this year, (ooops, wrong, the second time actually, but the first time because of anything related to pain since the first time was of sadness) I cried. The first time I landed on my butt because I twisted my ankle, the pain was just so great and so sudden that tears immediately sprung to my eyes and refused to stop for a while. It was embarrasing to say the least, but I know that i'd be doing a lot such sudden bursts of melodrama, considering my low pain tolerance.

~ I reached the camp site, summit and peak of the said mountain (forgive me, but we were on 3-4 different places and it was kinda hard to say which one was the summit)

~ I was able to have a more deeper interaction with some of the members and my fellow trainees.

~ Anche, Joey, Cris and I, all first timers really, were able to conquer the mountain.

~ Jah's team won the Pasta Fest, they had these sticks with hearts towering above their dessert. Oh, and I should note that Jah cooked with Anche (altho, all she really did was squeeze cream and chocolate syrup on bananas, and Anche sort of melba toasted some bread... but still, it's food preparation that fed many)

~ Daddy E wrote the Lpang Hinirang lines/lyrics for us in a group activity. Of course, we lost. Still, he did impress everyone with the banana flambe thingie. And we did top every other team's poem.

~ Was able to actually sleep. And it was a first time to be sleeping with a guy who is not a boyfriend or relative (yeah, yeah, i'd be defensive and add that i do go to out of towns with friends, w/ a bf in tow before, so i have slept with some of them...and i mean sleep... you know, that thing you do when you're not wetly dreaming?)

~ Lost some of my inhibitons by playing the fool, immitating a house lizard, horse, mouse and chicken in the socials. Didn't know whose chest/boobs I accidentally touched/held too. Lolz.

~ Arrived home safe and sound.

~ The climb went well without mishaps. Had a very good post climb meeting too. Met some more members.

~ Pasaway was born.


Salient Points to Remember

~ Always verify if there is water source at the camp site so as not to be trudging along with 2 litres of water you can do without for the meantime.

~ Learn to eat halo-halo instead of going with everybody else's binge of softdrinks.

~ Learn to eat even when tired, or when with some people you don't know.

~ Bring trail food that won't produce as much garbage. Feed the boys, they may help you carry bags & water bottles, share their cooked food or tent, etc.

~ Thou shalt not be too noisy when with members and about to embark on an MMS-referenced climb or activity.

~ Give some of the members who are rubbing you the wrong way more chances to redeem themselves. After all, if you pass this training, you will become a member too, and might not be as sensitive or considerate with the coming trainees. Sometimes, it all just really boils down to everyone being human, and given to their issues, limitations, hang-ups and habits.

~ Remember all the complaints being aired by you and your fellow trainees right now. Do not do to the next trainees what you didn't like that was done to you. Be more fair, be more aware, be more prepared than the ones that came before you. After all, when you really think about it, improvement is the biggest space in the mountain, and everybody may just be a little happier if all the coming generations of MMS trainees will be more conscientious and disciplined.

~ Serious practice of basic climbing principles aside, always have fun. Daddy A was wise to remind everybody at the post climb that mini goals such as photographing a Daguldul sunset, or actually being bitten by a limatic (lolz, joke), etc. may help propel you onwards to becoming more dedicated and passionate about climbing. This really touched me since I still have yet to make reaching a summit be the main motivation of a climb.

~ A good climber is someone whom you can trust. If he doesn't train in between climbs, he may inconvenience your team greatly. If he shows off, runs on trails or heads off ahead (except lead men, of course), the team may also be inconvenienced. I am still attached to whomever our sweeper will be, but it should also be my obligation to train well so that I can also assume middle man position, at least, if am to become a team leader someday. Same way that good climbers have to be sweepers too.

~ Learn to at least cook using stoves, and assist in tent pitching. Also, share the garbage.

~ Knowing a name of a thing, or a purpose of a thing IS knowledge.

~ If you're going to climb, climb, If you need several stuff during the climb, the bring them. But do not hire porters and subject animals like horses and carabaos to bring them for you. I know, it's really tempting to not be carrying at all, but dang UP Mountaineers for holding that open climb only to include people who can't carry their own backpacks. I'm sorry, but I really expected better from them.

What was funny

~ The sign I saw while passing a beach front. It said Bawal Dumaan ang Hayop dito. Animals not Aloud

~ The picture-picture phenomena that brought us to cow's shit-filled places just to spell out MMS

~ Paul repeating the word "Taramind" over and over (he was referring to tamarind)

(will write more if I remember anything else, am exhausted)

by ~me~ at 5:52 AM ©

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Thursday, February 06, 2003
Attended PEX ODC meeting last nyt. Met jukey, ella, cris and ice. Wish I can join them in their open climb, though my family might kill me if I'm away on the 15th.

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Couldn't sleep last night, It's part rhumba, part excitement. I'm really like a girl in love. The climb tom has been constantly in mind for the past two weeks, everything was for it...

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It's been real cold these days... Wonder if i'd have to hugging Ruwen (whether she likes it or not) just to feel warm.

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I really don't know how to pack my bag this time, dang kaserola. And I still don't have any earth pad. Wonder where I can get that insulation pad used in cars...hmmm...



by ~me~ at 5:31 PM ©

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Tuesday, February 04, 2003
My thighs are not getting any smaller.... they are just getting more taut....firm....thick....

@~@~@~@~@~@~@~@~

I've been getting "I'm worried about you, have you been exercising...?" text messages, e-mails and phone calls from fellow trainees. Makes me feel like an invalid..... but it's good that people care....all I really need is a jogging buddy....

by ~me~ at 5:29 PM ©

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Monday, February 03, 2003
Was showing off my shoes to everybody yesterday. Dad was kidding me about buying really expensive stuff. I know he knows that am not one to buy branded stuff, more so, expensive ones.

Actually finished the Mountaineering book. Was glad of some of the things I read, the trivia stuff. Am also anxious if I can actually cut it. Been exercising and have been noticing a slight improvement in my breathing and leg power. Still have a long way to go though.

Read about some of the mountains I would be climbing. Felt a little sad that others have gone before me, and thus, might make those others to not want to go to a specific mountain anymore, having conquered it already. Wish i'm rich and can just spend the whole year traversing mountains all over the country.

But i'm happy where I am right now. I am happy that I get more and more passionate about mountaineering. I am happy that I have the resources to buy the gear I need and time away to spend hiking. I am happy because there is something to look forward to. I am happy because exercising now is for a greater purpose other than losing my lovehandles.

by ~me~ at 12:02 AM ©

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Saturday, February 01, 2003
Which reminds me, I shouldn't be carbo-loading just yet..... but I have consumed too much macaroni salad and cashew nuts last night. Also, I am looking forward to all the cakes I will be eating later on, and Mom's spaghetti and all the other goodies she's making, plus the cheesecake I made last night.

Argghh.... all my self-torture going to waste!!! But I promise to uhm, double the efforts i'm making to building up my stamina and endurance...

Just arghh....let me eat!!!!

by ~me~ at 8:59 PM ©

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After combing Cartimar tomorrow, I finally found a pair of shoes!!! Please, plese God, let it be comfortable!!!

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I still Haven't bought a water bladder and I still don't have an earth pad. It seems that there was a panic-shopping spree that went on last December and so, trek shops still haven't stocked up again. Sigh.

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Due to the kindness of JOJO, I now also possess this saucer-like light I can use inside tents (like what Jojo from my batch also have)

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Regarding exercise, I did taebo yesterday... and dang shoulders ache this time. I'm still remorseful of the fact that I still haven't been able to jog non-stop in place. I ca do 2-3 minutes tops, after that, my ankles just really give in to the point where I feel I'd collapse. I believe am doing something wrong and stressing my feet unnecessarily (of course, aside from my weird suspicion that my big hips and big butt are really taking its toll on my legs).


by ~me~ at 8:16 PM ©

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